Review – HELLOWEEN – “Unarmed: Best of 25th Anniversary”

Helloween – Unarmed: Best of 25th Anniversary
released March 30, 2010 on The End Records

Rating : 2.5 / 5

This review will give you something few others can: a fresh look at Helloween from a lifelong listener of Metal. It is true that I have scarcely heard the band, but that gives me unique perspective on a commemorative album of not only greatest hits, but reinterpretations of said songs. My nostalgia factor is nil.

Let us start with “Dr. Stein”, a lighthearted track to begin with, that gets grooved up with a saxophone on this particular outing. It is a dramatic change that certainly catches one off guard. More expected were adaptations like that which “Future World” receives. Amplified power metal down, acoustic melodies up, and a head-turning percussive midsection. “If I Could Fly” and “Where The Rain Grows” are not nearly as striking, and if not for the following track, this album would be largely forgettable.

“The Keeper’s Trilogy” utilizes the Prague Symphonic Orchestra in most appropriate fashion, effectively blending “Halloween”, “Keeper Of The Seven Keys” and “The King For 1,000 Years” into a staggering 17-minute exercise in grandiosity. This is certainly the album’s high water mark.

With the exception of “Perfect Gentleman” (which works for some reason; maybe the flute), the second half mostly fades into acoustic arrangements with vocal choir backup. The children on “I Want Out” are by far the most grating, and the duet with Harriet Ohlsson (Hellsongs) on “Eagle Fly Free” falls flat. The symphony returns on “A Tale That Wasn’t Right”, but chances are you will be disinterested by now. “Why?” is an unlisted bonus track, though, and ends on a slightly heavier note.

It is difficult to avoid mentioning the cover photo. Helloween have often rocked the enigmatic album art (Pink Bubbles Go Ape, anyone?), but I can think of no reason why this hot chick (Yesenia Adame) is sexily posing with a cello in the middle of a desert; there is actually very little of the instrument on the album. Are women with cellos inherently attractive? We all know the answer to that question is a resounding yes.

Traditional heavy metal is the new hard rock… you know that, right? Look at all of these NWOTHM bands arising and classic masters like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest achieving mammoth levels of intergenerational worldwide acceptance; a paradigm shift is occurring. Remember the plants that overtake Stephen King – and everything else – in his “Weeds” adaptation from the movie Creepshow? That’s Metal.

FCC OK
Try 1, 2, 5

01. Dr. Stein
02. Future World
03. If I Could Fly
04. Where The Rain Grows
05. The Keeper’s Trilogy
06. Eagle Fly Free
07. Perfect Gentleman
08. Forever & One
09. I Want Out
10. Falling To Pieces
11. A Tale That Wasn’t Right
12. Why?